The Official Steve Ballmer Webpage


Real Ultimate Power


Hi, this site is all about Steve Ballmer, THE REAL STEVE BALLMER. This site is awesome! My name is Peter and I can't stop thinking about Steve Ballmer. This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.


1.    Steve Ballmer is bald.

2.    Steve Ballmer buries guys ALL the time!

3.    The purpose of Steve Ballmer is to dance, throw chairs and steal other people's code.



Weapons and gear:


chairs backhoe windows
Chairs!! Backhoe!! Windows!!



Steve Ballmer can flip out and bury any guy he wants! Steve Ballmer hurls chairs through rooms ALL the time and does not even think twice about it. I heard that Steve Ballmer was at a computer convention once and when some dude rebooted Windows, Steve Ballmer flipped out and buried the whole town! My friend Jimmy saw him bury a kid just because he mentioned Google!


And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



If you don't believe that Steve Ballmer has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or he will hurl a chair at you and f---ing bury you. He's done it before and he'll do it again. It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  


Steve Ballmer is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. This guy is totally awesome and that's a fact. Steve Ballmer is cool, bald, obese, strong, muscular, and sweet. I can't wait to start learning Windows next year! I love Steve Ballmer with all of my body (including my hard disk).



Q and A:.



Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Steve Ballmer?

A: Steve Ballmer is the ultimate paradox. On the one hand he's fat, but on the other, he can say the most awesome things. I love Steve Ballmer!!!


Q: I heard that Steve Ballmer is always fat and sweaty. What's his problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other bald men, Steve Ballmer can be fat OR sweaty.


Q: What does Steve Ballmer do when he's not throwing chairs or burying guys?

A: Most of his free time is spent eating flesh, but sometimes he dances (Ask Melinda if you don't believe me).




This is a picture of my best friend Melinda showing off.

She's a lot older than me and once danced with Steve Ballmer at a Microsoft employee event, which is bragable. - Real Ultimate Power Parody Webring - Free Online Lifestyle Magazine
With thanks to Robert Hamburger!! Go there now, or be a baby!
If you're like, "What in the name of Uranus is this crap all about?" then go here now and weep with despair for the human race:
Teh Linkzor of Horror
The crazy fool that made this awesome page lives here. Go there to email him now!! (If you can tear yourself from the Teletubbies for more than a few seconds.)